It’s okay to feel angry.

A lot of the time I didn’t know who I was angry at or what triggered me in the first place. I was just mad. I was angry this was happening to me. I was angry that it was happening even when I’d done everything right. I knew I was pregnant from week 3 for goodness sake, and made the right choices: I cut out alcohol, took pre-natals, avoided sushi, the whole shtick. I was angry I had to tell the people we’d shared our good news with that we’d lost the pregnancy (I did it via text, I honestly couldn’t handle anything more).

Anger has a way of quickly shifting into other feelings, and then back again. Anger turned into sadness, then guilt, then jealousy, then back to anger. This kind of transition from one feeling to the next is described a lot in grief, and its completely understandable. The more I listened to and acknowledged the emotions I felt, the more I felt I could start to understand and get a handle on them. It used to scare me that I was so quick to anger (it probably bothered my husband a lot, too), but that feeling was a natural way for me to move between my other emotions. And it was okay to feel that.

But anger is no place to live. So my suggestion would be to pay attention to it, and acknowledge your anger, and find strategies that let you move on from that. For me, thinking about that feeling helped me to separate from it. Deep breathing exercises gave me power to shift my focus. Screaming Linkin Park while driving by myself on the highway helped me to release tension. Do whatever works for you. Drive safely.