It’s okay to have no f*cking idea how you feel.

Yeah, no sh*t. I know this feeling. How on earth could you! Your brain is trying to process new information, while simultaneously starting to un-process the plans and hopes you’d made through your pregnancy until now. I still have no f*cking clue how I feel, and I’m trying to build a website to help other people (and also, me).

I felt overwhelmed by just how much I felt. It was a full time job, just feeling. It’s time consuming. And exhausting. And exclusionary. But it’s also part of healing. Grief isn’t a singular feeling, and it doesn’t manifest as one feeling at a time as you glide through a linear series of feelings toward “acceptance”. It is confusing. Grief is there when you have a handle on things, and there when you feel out of control. Let yourself acknowledge your feelings until you can identify which emotions you are actually feeling. Time brings clarity.