It’s okay to feel alone, but you aren’t.
This was the big one for me, and this is the feeling that I think is unfair. So unfair, that I created this site. You are not alone. The feelings you are feeling do not have to exist only within your mind and body. So many women, unfortunately, have heard those terrible words, have felt unnameable pain, have felt scared and unsure and overwhelmed.
I went through 3 ultrasounds all telling me that I was not viably pregnant, but also not not pregnant. After weeks of processing and appointments and reaching out to my loving family and friends who did all they could to give me support, I still felt so alone. Finally, I reached out to a friend who had posted about her experience with pregnancy loss.
Again, I texted, I couldn’t handle more. But as soon as her response came through on my phone, it felt like 500 lbs had been taken off my shoulders. Her text said, “I felt so. damn. alone. Please know you are NOT alone.” I burst into tears. I knew that other women had gone through this, but now I knew the emotions I was trying to process were the same emotions other women had to move through. I hope this website reads to you like that text message read to me. Not everyone will understand what you are going through, but those of us that do are here for you, we are here with you. I felt like a burden every time I mentioned I was struggling, but you are NOT a burden. Reach out here. Reach out to other women who have opened up about similar experiences, reach out to your doctors or seek therapy. All of these are correct choices. You are not alone.
Article on Grief after Miscarriage*
*trigger warning, one thing I found difficult when seeking out stories of miscarriage from other women was that a lot of times these are found on Family Blog websites or Pregnancy websites. I so appreciated all of the stories and similar experiences I read, but always felt a ping of sadness knowing I was a click away from a happy healthy pregnancy article or tips and tricks for making your registry. These are wonderful and helpful websites, but I did find them overwhelming at a time when I couldn’t look at “social media” portrayals of pregnancy and joy. Not to mention it really f*cked with the ads I received online. This is from the website “Motherly” which includes articles about all of pregnancy and parenting.