The 7:30am ultrasound feedback was direct and the room went silent. My mind started racing towards guilt and thinking what could I have done differently. I felt like I knew next to nothing about pregnancy and the first trimester before this sad development, however even though I knew miscarriage was still a possible outcome at this early stage, it took my breath away. The doctors comforted us by stating that this should in no way prevent us from having a happy, healthy baby on the next attempt further down the road. I got home and had another good cry with family that I had to share the news with over the phone.

Then I started my internet research, which verified everything the doctors had told us. Physically we would be just fine in the long run. But, mentally and emotionally, my entire heart went out to my amazing wife and doing everything I could to support her. It’s a helpless feeling to be a guy watching your wife and her body go through something so vulnerable, raw, and human.

We took strength in each other, grieving from every single perspective that day until I foolishly thought we had processed it all and grown through it. Despite the difficult times we faced, our marriage has only become stronger since that day. But, we lost the opportunity to experience one of life’s great joys together for the first time in a sudden fashion.

Mentally we transitioned from having a fun secret to share with others another month down the road, to having some heavy sadness sitting on our hearts. Having months of distance since the doctors visit, we have continued living our blessed lives. But I still hear or see something that suddenly sends my mind back to the heartbreak we went through. It’s such a tough mental place to shake away from, and turns out one can’t process it all in a week or month as I’d originally thought. But I know that we’re fortunate that this has been our biggest challenge.

Support the love of your life with all you have got since she is everything and take strength from her amazing resilience.